Men's group in the Blue Mountains
This is an introduction to a functioning men’s group. It is not a casual or social meetup. The group meets for 3 hours weekly for 10 weeks. During this time, you will expand your capacity to share deeply with men; learn personal integrity and accountability; understand how unconscious shadows run your life; and how honouring ourselves and others can be healing.
Who is this for?
This men’s group in the Blue Mountains is for men aged 18 and over at any stage of life. Men who get the most from a men’s groups are those ready to positive changes in their mental, emotional and relational life.
It’s for men who want to go beyond surface conversations and to share their deepest challenges: marital, familial, financial, health, parenting, ageing.
Men who commit to this men’s inner work derive many benefits, including:
Greater emotional literacy: meaning how to listen more deeply and speak honestly from the heart.
Feeling the body: being able to scan your body and feel sensations is vital for being more self-aware.
Learning how to regulate the nervous system: learn simple, fast ways to self-regulate when I’m “off centre”.
Grounding techniques: Using gravity, breath or physical contact with the floor to help me feel stable and present.
Resourcing: Identifying and building internal or external sensations that bring a sense of safety and strength.
Learning and developing these skills in the company of other men has many benefits. Foremost is bringing these skills to the way I do relationships in the wider world — with my children, spouses, family, friends and people in my local community.
What is a men’s group and what actually happens inside one?
A men’s group is a safe, non-judgmental place to witness—and be witnessed by—men committed to changing and healing. The power of witnessing and be witnessed is that it helps normalise men’s experiences in that knowledge that they aren’t alone.
It’s a place to get real with other men in ways you can’t access by just socialising with men or having individual therapy. It’s a place to learn and experiment with your “growing edge” into emotionally mature masculinity. It’s a platform for positive friendships, social connection and social belonging.
During this 10-week men’s group in the Blue Mountains NSW, we practice feeling and speaking about our emotions, understanding and practising integrity (walking my talk), and learning how our stories and ‘mental projections’ about others are often about ourselves, not others. Our deepest work concerns “shadow” (what we hide, suppress and deny), which is the source material for deep healing. We also practice our capacity for eldership, including the power of blessing and honouring others.
What men are saying about the group
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"It helps take the guesswork out of being a man."
“Being part of Men’s Circle gives men in the community the feeling of belonging and support. It helps take the guesswork out of being a man and leads to happier individuals that love and support their families, friends and colleagues. Men who are part of Men’s Circles are good role models to younger males as dads, coaches, teachers and mentors.”
~ Damien, Blackheath 2785
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"This is self-awareness and personal growth on steroids."
“The structure that we use enables us to do this in a safe, meaningful, productive and connected way. We can talk about our shortcomings without fear of judgement, exposure or weaponisation. Having that space to do those things – this is self-awareness and personal growth on steroids.”
~ Kris, Leura NSW 2780
Each week, we follow a four-round format that’s a tried-and-true way of working together.
These four rounds will be accompanied by teaching and explanations in a spirit of openness and vulnerability.
Round 1: First, we check-in by noticing and sharing what’s alive in our bodies, sharing how we are feeling and providing some current context from our lives.
Round 2: We practise accountability and ‘clearing’ to ensure the circle is safe. Accountability means being honest about whether we are in integrity with ourselves. The question we pose is: am I walking my talk? Am I living in accordance with my values as a man?
Then we make eye contact, holding the gaze of each man in the circle and noticing the emotions and internal judgments we hold about each man. We share these emotions and judgments and attend to them so that we can proceed.
Round 3: We do deeper work, which can take many forms. This work attends to old stories, old wounds and current challenges we face in our lives.
Round 4: We honour each man’s work and check out.
Men who complete the 10-week program are welcome to join a long-standing men’s circle that I host in the Blue Mountains.
Meet Dan Gaffney — your Blue Mountains men’s group facilitator
Dan Gaffney is a registered psychotherapist and counsellor based in Lawson, in the Blue Mountains of NSW. I have run men’s groups for over 20 years in the Blue Mountains. I also co-lead men’s rite of passage weekends through The Mankind Project.
I work with individuals, couples and men's groups, in person at my Lawson practice and via telehealth across Australia. I hold postgraduate qualifications in psychology and counselling, and I work with anxiety, grief, trauma, OCD, relationship challenges and men's emotional health.
Benefits of joining a men’s group
Well-run men’s groups have profound therapeutic and mental health benefits. They provide safe, peer-to-peer settings that have the following benefits:
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Combating Isolation
Many men lack spaces to be vulnerable. Well-run men’s groups provide a sense of belonging, which is a powerful buffer against anxiety, depression, and anger.
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Normalising shared experiences
Seeing other men share similar life experiences related to marriage, divorce, career, grief, or fatherhood, helps men realise they aren't alone.
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Developing emotional intelligence
Learning to expand communication skills, challenge toxic norms, and comfortably express feelings of sadness or fear without fear of judgment, are well documented benefits.
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Building accountability
Learning to own the impacts of my words and behaviours builds responsibility and encourages men to change and resolve issues.
Join our men’s group in the Blue Mountains
$500 covers tuition and materials for 10 weeks.
Note: Medicare does not cover counselling, psychotherapy or couples therapy
Frequently asked questions
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No, but you will be asked to fill a brief intake form, and I will speak with each man before joining to ensure he can function well in a men’s group.
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Yes, you will be asked to commit to confidentiality, meaning that what men share in circle is not shared with anyone outside the group. This establishes emotional safety so that men can be open and vulnerable in the knowledge that what they share stays within the group.
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The group is limited to ten men. This ensures a diversity of men while ensuring group intimacy.
Enrolling in the group is a commitment. We will ensure whether the group is for you when you fill the intake form and do an interview before you commit.
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No, but there’s good evidence that well-run men’s groups have profound therapeutic and mental health benefits. They provide safe, peer-to-peer settings that have benefits such as combating isolation, normalising shared experiences, developing emotional intelligence and building accountability.
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The relationship between a men's group and individual therapy is complementary, acting like a laboratory versus a deep-dive workshop. While both focus on emotional growth and self-awareness, they process your experiences through different lenses.
Here’s how they connect, how they differ, and the honest answer on how to choose between them.
The laboratory link: Individual therapy is where you discover your relational patterns; a men's group is the lab where you actively test them.
The mirror effect: Individual therapy helps you understand your blind spots, while a men’s group reflects those blind spots back to you in real-time.
Shared material: The breakthroughs you achieve in therapy can fuel the work you do in a men’s group.
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The answer depends entirely on what hurts the most right now.
Choose individual therapy if:
you’re dealing with acute trauma, severe depression, or deep childhood wounds.
you need a highly secure, confidential space to say things you have never told another living soul.
you feel overwhelmed and need undivided, professional attention to stabilise.
Choose a men's group If:
you feel profoundly isolated, lonely, or like "the only one" dealing with your problems.
you want to improve how you communicate, handle conflict, and show up in your marriage or friendships.
you need firm accountability from supportive men who will “hold your feet to the fire” by challenging your avoidance.
The Ideal Path
If you have the time and resources, do both. Individual therapy gives you the map, and the men's group gives you the community to hike the trail. If you must pick one to start, choose individual therapy for internal healing, and a men's group for relational growth.